


Kids These Days

by isthisrubble



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies), James Bond - All Media Types
Genre: Australia, Crack, Gen, Humour, The Wiggles - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-28
Updated: 2014-01-28
Packaged: 2018-01-10 08:34:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1157459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isthisrubble/pseuds/isthisrubble
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James Bond, waiting for a contact, is trapped in a Wiggles concert.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kids These Days

**Author's Note:**

  * For [peter_pan_dyke](https://archiveofourown.org/users/peter_pan_dyke/gifts).



> Somehow a civilised conversation with Susan about James Bond’s interest (or lack thereof) in musicals turned into this. I wrote it at 5 am. *backflips into the sun laughing hysterically*

When he was a child, there’d been no need for anything like _this._

James checked his watch again and tapped his foot impatiently. He was waiting for an information drop, physical camera film for him to deliver to MI6, and the messenger, clearly insane, had chosen _this_ as the drop off point.

_‘Hot potato, hot potato. Hot potato, hot potato. Hot potato, hot potato, potato, potato, potato, potato!’_

There were kids _everywhere_ , dancing at the front, chasing each other around at the back, where James was skulking behind parents who were _singing along_ to four grown men gallivanting around on stage singing about food and chasing a fucking _pirate_.

The sooner the contact made contact, the better.

Apparently he had a very unusual taste in torture, because he didn’t come near James until the very end of the show, by which time James would seriously have been considering shooting something if he hadn’t been worried about hitting the kids. Under the cover of parents herding up their children the contact brushed past James and pressed a plastic shopping bag into his hand. He checked it surreptitiously before turning around. Where were the exits in this place?

James was halfway out, trying to push through the crowd without stepping on someone when he stopped suddenly and turned. A boy with sticky fingers had grabbed his jacket and was staring at the gun.

‘Mister, are you hunting bad guys?’

 _Shit._ What do you say to a kid –

He was saved by the boy’s mother, who swooped down on him, scooped him up and, shouting _‘sorry!’_ over her shoulder, disappeared into the crush.

James continued his battle towards the exit. All this for a children’s band?

Mad, the lot of them. _Fucking Australians._

**Author's Note:**

> This is [the hot potato song,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dLsUytFerY) if you have no life


End file.
